Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
