Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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