I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
