Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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