she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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