I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
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