ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
