Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
