my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
