Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"

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(586): View more from Michigan

apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.

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