Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now

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(914): View more from New York

so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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(727): View more from Florida

He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Walk of Shame time yet?

(1+44): View more from

Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"

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(315): View more from New York

making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.

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(801): View more from Utah

I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.

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