Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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