You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?