There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell