your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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