Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.

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  (414): hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me. http://tfl.nu/ash4
  Replies (21) Good night (1768) Bad night (724)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie

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  (973): Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie http://tfl.nu/ez65
  Replies (12) Good night (2552) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

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  (214): New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables http://tfl.nu/m9ex
  Replies (27) Good night (6314) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.

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  (813): I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month. http://tfl.nu/259p
  Replies (20) Good night (689) Bad night (5106)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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  (219): she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs' http://tfl.nu/aa98
  Replies (38) Good night (1415) Bad night (17458)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.

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  (610): You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/p50o
  Replies (10) Good night (4832) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.

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  (702): Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog. http://tfl.nu/spgx
  Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (5250)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

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  (443): Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest. http://tfl.nu/68lv
  Replies (22) Good night (5483) Bad night (3351)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.

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  (+44): That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal. http://tfl.nu/r9bl
  Replies (6) Good night (2775) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs

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  (516): Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs http://tfl.nu/6o6j
  Replies (7) Good night (2110) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.

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  (519): I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT. http://tfl.nu/zwn2
  Replies (3) Good night (2752) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So basically you were a dog.

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  (860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s
  Replies (14) Good night (8385) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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  (281): You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike" http://tfl.nu/m449
  Replies (1) Good night (1327) Bad night (454)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!

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  (631): I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila! http://tfl.nu/xkdv
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?

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  (615): Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport? http://tfl.nu/4yvq
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (400)

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