Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
