Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize