On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
