It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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