im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
