he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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