Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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