I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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