The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
