mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
