This is not my ceiling
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
