When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
