AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
