you guys were way drunker than both of me
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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