you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Terrible idea I love it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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