community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize