Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
