At least make sure they are 18
Why
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
