he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
