It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
