I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize