Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
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It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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