We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I love you.
Bad choice
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
