just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
