he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
you never un-have a 4some
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
