We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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