Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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