I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
