I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
