I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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