There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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