i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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