'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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