is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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