HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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