I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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