yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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