awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have post one night stand depression
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
