Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
