I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
