Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
