Don't you send me to vm
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
