she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
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I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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