Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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