oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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