i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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