If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
