how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Girls should come with a carfax report
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize